When Therapy Feels Overwhelming: Practical Tools to Regain Calm and Safety

Therapy can be a powerful, transformative process for healing trauma. However, one of its challenges is that delving into the traumatic events of the past can sometimes trigger a fight-or-flight response. This is a natural reaction when trauma is revisited. It’s not uncommon to leave a session feeling emotionally activated or overwhelmed, even as you move closer to healing.

The good news is that there are practical strategies you can use after a particularly heavy, trauma-laden session to help soothe your mind and body, ground yourself in the present moment, and create a sense of safety. Let’s explore a few.

1. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

After a triggering session, grounding exercises can help reorient you to the here and now, rather than lingering too long in memories of the past. These techniques remind your body and mind that you are safe in the present moment.

The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

This simple exercise anchors you in your senses:

• 5 Things You Can See: Look around and name five objects in your environment.

• 4 Things You Can Hear: Tune in to your surroundings. Can you hear birds, the hum of an appliance, or distant traffic?

• 3 Things You Can Touch: Feel the texture of your clothing, a soft blanket, or a nearby object.

• 2 Things You Can Smell: Take in the scent of a candle, essential oil, or even the air around you.

• 1 Thing You Can Taste: Enjoy a piece of candy, chocolate, or even just remember the taste of something comforting.

This exercise engages your senses and draws your attention away from distressing thoughts.

2. Regulate Your Breathing

Breathing deeply and intentionally can calm your nervous system and shift your focus from emotional activation to the physical act of breathing.

Paced Breathing

• Inhale for 4 seconds, and exhale for 4 seconds.

• If this feels too quick, extend it to 5 seconds or incorporate a pause: inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4.

Focusing on your breath not only slows down your heart rate but also soothes your fight-or-flight response, grounding you in the rhythm of life itself.

3. Step Into Nature—Real or Imagined

Nature has a profound calming effect on the mind and body. If you can, step outside to walk, feel the breeze, and observe the natural world.

If nature isn’t easily accessible:

• Visualize yourself in a calming outdoor space. Close your eyes and picture a peaceful forest, ocean waves, or a serene meadow.

• Use nature sounds to enhance this visualization. There are plenty of free audio clips and videos online with soothing natural ambiances like rain, wind, or birdsong.

Engaging your mind in this way can foster a sense of calm and safety.

4. Reach Out for Support

Trauma often involves experiences of feeling unsupported or unheard, so reaching out to a safe, trusted friend or loved one can provide a corrective experience.

• Share your feelings, or simply spend time with someone who makes you feel safe.

• Let them know you’re seeking comfort, not solutions.

5. Engage Your Senses Further

Soothing your senses can calm your nervous system:

• Listen to calming music: Soft instrumental music, nature sounds, or songs that bring you comfort.

• Touch something soft or soothing: A cozy blanket, a stuffed animal, or even your family pet.

• Smell something relaxing: Lavender, chamomile, or any scent you associate with peace.

Engaging multiple senses simultaneously can create a cocoon of safety and ease.

6. Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) involves tensing and releasing different muscle groups in your body, which helps release tension:

1. Start with your toes. Tense the muscles for 5 seconds, then release.

2. Move upward through your body, focusing on one group at a time (feet, legs, hands, shoulders).

This physical release can help calm both your body and mind.

7. Use Cold Therapy

Cold temperatures can have an immediate calming effect on your nervous system:

• Splash cold water on your face.

• Hold a cold compress or ice cube in your hands.

• Take a brief cold shower if you feel up to it.

The shock of cold can redirect your focus and help reset your body’s stress response.

8. Create a Safety Plan

It’s helpful to have a plan in place for moments of emotional activation:

• Identify safe spaces where you feel most comfortable, whether it’s a room in your home, a favorite park, or even your car.

• Write down a list of comforting books, quotes, or activities you can turn to.

• Keep a "comfort kit" with items like a journal, a favorite snack, or a soothing object (e.g., a worry stone or stress ball).

Having this plan ready to go can provide reassurance and structure when you need it most.

9. Move Your Body

Trauma can create a buildup of energy in your body. Gentle movement can help release it:

• Take a walk around your neighborhood.

• Stretch or practice light yoga.

• Dance to your favorite song.

Physical activity can help regulate your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment.

10. Practice Self-Compassion

Finally, remind yourself that it’s normal to feel activated after a deep therapy session. Healing from trauma is a process, and the fact that you’re engaging with it is an act of courage.

Repeat affirmations or mantras like:

• “I am safe in this moment.”

• “This feeling will pass, and I will be okay.”

• “I am doing the best I can to heal.”

Conclusion
Therapy is a courageous step toward healing trauma, but it can sometimes bring challenging emotions to the surface. Grounding yourself after a difficult session helps you regain a sense of safety and connection to the present moment. Whether it’s practicing the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, breathing deeply, or finding solace in nature, these strategies can support you on your journey.

Above all, give yourself grace. Healing is not a straight line, and each step forward—no matter how small—is progress.